


a year of suffering, a lesson learned

by kusege



Category: The Glass Scientists (Webcomic)
Genre: F/F, First Kiss, Girls in Love, Guilt, I wrote this a while ago lol, If you have not read The Murder Game by Carol_Molliniere please go do so!!!, It’s really good and totally worth it, Nightmares, SPOILERS FOR THE MURDER GAME, death mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-19
Updated: 2019-03-19
Packaged: 2019-11-24 16:30:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,628
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18167528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusege/pseuds/kusege
Summary: There’s something to be said for having someone to hold onto late at night, when you wake up alone and scared and gasping for air.Even if your nightmare was of them.(Title from December by Neck Deep)





	a year of suffering, a lesson learned

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Morgan_Molliniere](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgan_Molliniere/gifts).
  * Inspired by [The Murder Game](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13654713) by [TheLodgersEnthusiast (Morgan_Molliniere)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Morgan_Molliniere/pseuds/TheLodgersEnthusiast). 



Rachel woke up when Ito started sobbing in her ear. When she turned over, still a little groggy, she saw her girlfriend shaking and crying and whispering to herself things Rachel could only barely make out. What she could hear, though...    
  
“N-no, she... I never meant for this... I never... I’m so sorry... please...”   
  
Rachel reached for her shoulder and shook it gently. “Virginia? Virginia, you’re having a nightmare.... you need to wake up...”    
  
It didn’t take more than a few seconds for Ito to gasp awake. Immediately, she wrapped around Rachel and started to sob into her neck. Rachel rocked her back and forth and softly shushed her.   
  
“I-I saw...”   
  
“It’s alright, it was all a dream...”   
  
“Y-you’d died, I killed you, I...”   
  
“Shh, shh... it’s all over now...”   
  
“I sent you to your death for no reason, I lied, I-“   
  
“I know, but it’s alright, it’s over.”   
  
“I’m so sorry,” Ito whispered into Rachel’s collarbone, voice cracking and full of tears. “I should never have risked it... you were so scared, I’m so sorry... I’m an awful person...”   
  
Rachel just brushed through Ito’s hair with one hand and hummed. “You didn’t kill me, though... it’s all okay, you don’t have to apologize. You got us out of there, didn’t you?” She pulled away to look into her girlfriend’s eyes.   
  
Ito stared down, devastated. “I... I... I still should never have done it. What I did to you... Rachel, I saw you die-“ her voice broke again and she began to sob. “I saw you die for real, and I knew it was all my fault, you didn’t deserve that, you never hurt anyone, and I couldn’t, I can’t-“    
  
Rachel hushed her again, fumbled for a stray handkerchief, and wiped Ito’s tear-stained face clear, taking care to clean it off entirely. “You took a risk, and it paid off, alright? You don’t have to worry about me anymore. I’m not going to die from some stupid massive knife out here, or anything.” At this, Ito snorted a little, before taking a deep and shuddering breath. “I’m right here, with you,” Rachel said, pressing a hand to her girlfriend’s chest, feeling her pounding heartbeat.   
  
Ito took a few more breaths, and Rachel felt her heartbeat gradually steady against her hand. “I-I... I just don’t know how you can forgive me for it,” Ito confessed, the words barely more than a whisper as they left her lips. Rachel felt her face shift into a smile even as her heart seemed about to burst with love and affection and worry.    
  
“I already have, Virginia.” Rachel ran her hands down Ito’s torso, petting it in a way that made her sigh and relax a little into the touch. “I already have, and I always will.”   
  
The two sat there in contemplative silence for a few minutes. They let themselves appreciate each other’s warmth and presence, that they could finally be together. Finally, Rachel pulled back and tossed the soiled handkerchief across the room, to be dealt with in the morning.

 

“It’s late. We should go back to sleep,” she whispered, softly pressing her lips against Ito’s cheek. Rachel yawned a little and relaxed back onto the bed. Ito did not.

 

“.... is something wrong?” Rachel asked, when she realized she hadn’t felt Ito’s weight return to her side.

 

“You… you kissed me.” Rachel rolled over onto her back at that, and saw Ito staring at her in shock. “I… didn’t think you wanted to do that. I thought you weren’t comfortable… I never thought you would…”

 

Rachel was caught completely off-guard.  _ Does she feel that guilty over it..? _ Ito swallowed nervously under Rachel’s gaze, curling in on herself a bit.

 

“...If you’ll come lie down with me, I’ll give you another,” Rachel said, before she could think to stop herself. Ito glanced back at her before she nodded, and took her place on the bed inch by inch, so as not to wake the ghosts.

 

As soon as Ito was laying down fully, Rachel rolled over to be right next to her. She reached out, caressed her cheek, and then leaned in, pressing their lips together like she was performing some delicate surgery. She felt Ito tense up in shock at her side, before relaxing into the kiss. 

 

The kiss seemed to last forever- or maybe it was only moments- but the fact remained that neither of them wanted to pull away. Rachel was the one to break the kiss, and only in order to yawn. After, she laid there and stared at Ito’s lips, wondering if it would be pushing her luck to try again.

 

“... so, what do I have to do to earn another?” Ito whispered to her. Rachel grinned and let out a soft giggle in response.

 

“Absolutely nothing,” she said, placing one last soft kiss to Ito’s lips before nestling her head in the crook of her neck. “But I’ll kiss you more in the morning. It’s time to sleep now.”

 

Ito smiled and closed her eyes, and both women drifted back asleep, to their dreams.

 

...Less than two hours later, Rachel was hyperventilating.

 

Ito, light sleeper that she was, jolted awake immediately, and stared in horror at her trembling girlfriend. “Rachel? Are you… what’s wrong?”

 

Rachel showed no indication of having heard her, only continuing to shake and whimper and gasp. Her arms and legs were thrashing against the sheets, kicking Ito a bit in the process. “Rachel, darling? You’re asleep…”

 

Rachel’s legs managed to get caught up in the sheets, a fact which comforted Ito for all of two seconds, before Rachel only panicked more and began to writhe desperately. “Rachel! Rachel, you… shit, you  _ need _ to wake up!” Ito sat up and grabbed Rachel by the shoulders, holding her down, hoping that the pressure would snap her out of whatever nightmarish scenario she had made for herself. 

 

This unfortunately had the opposite effect, not only not helping Rachel regain consciousness, but also causing her to let out an awful, animalistic scream. Ito jolted away in horror. Rachel only struggled more when the weight lifted, still screaming savagely and kicking and gasping to breathe…

 

And then she woke herself up and fell out of the bed.

 

Ito stumbled after her, legs not quite working in her sleepy state, but she managed to pull Rachel back onto the bed and into her arms. “Darling, what’s wrong? What did you see?” she asked. Rachel only shuddered and gasped, completely inconsolable as Ito tried her best to settle her down. Completely at a loss for a next step, Ito frantically kissed Rachel on the lips. It was messy and forceful, not at all the soft, healing kisses from earlier.

 

“Y-you-it-you-I-“ Rachel stuttered between gasps, a hand coming up to her throat. She rubbed the base of her neck a few times, frantically at first, and then slower as her breathing began to even out. Ito could barely hold onto her, keeping Rachel in her arms despite her panic.

 

After another minute or so of this, Rachel had relaxed enough to at least breathe calmly. She rocked back and forth a bit in Ito’s arms, two fingers absently worrying at the hollow of her throat. 

 

“It hurt, in my dream,” were the next words that she said, and it snapped Ito to attention where her mind had been wandering.

 

“What hurt, Rachel?” Ito had a feeling she knew, but…

 

“The blade, coming down on me. It split me right through, all the bones and everything just….” She made a motion with her hands as if to imply that that was all. “I couldn’t see or think or speak but I could  _ feel it _ and… Ito, I was so scared.”

 

Ito’s heart felt weak and splintered and like it might shatter from the slightest touch. “R-Rachel, I… I know it doesn’t change anything, but I really am sorry, I-“

 

“I know. You’re sorry,” Rachel interrupted. “And I forgive you, I do. It just… I don’t know. It terrified me, it still does. And the knowledge that you just… sent me to my death, with no guarantee I’d be alright…” She hugged herself, as if to remind herself what comfort felt like. “It’s… it makes it hard to trust you. And it doesn’t exactly help me sleep easy.”

 

Ito’s hands shook from where they were around Rachel’s neck, and she removed them to pull them to herself. “I… does being with me make it worse?” She knew it did, because why wouldn’t it, a constant reminder of all that had gone wrong, right there next to her, to haunt her-

 

“You help,” Rachel said quietly, leaning in to kiss Ito on the cheek. 

 

“Wh-I what?” 

 

“You’re here, so I know you aren’t planning to get rid of me. You’ve kissed me now, we love each other, and…. that stability is what I need to remember that it’s over. I never have to even think about killing someone ever again.” For a moment, when Rachel looked up, the knife was looming over her. She blinked- it was an odd shadow. “You help me, Virginia. Even if you did help hurt me in the first place.” She thought, maybe- a distant cackle. She listened again, only hearing the rush of the wind. It still sent chills up her spine, so she snuggled into Ito, looking for a way to not hear.

 

Ito uneasily replaced her arms around Rachel. “Are you… sure you want me here? I can go elsewhere-“ 

 

“Stay,” she immediately said, leaning up to press a kiss to Ito’s lips as she did. “Please, stay. Anchor me to the after.”

 

And so Ito did, helping Rachel find her way to sleep, before drifting off again herself, to hopefully have a dreamless night. 


End file.
